Evening Hosts Lampoon Trump's New 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

TV's prominent entertainers used their evening criticizing President Donald Trump's newly announced visa program, called the "golden visa," characterizing it as a clear cash-for-residency system for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Witty Take

Opening his show, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical Christmas jingle targeting the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, and then giving that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... spoils all he touches."

Colbert's target was the new plan which permits overseas individuals to buy U.S. residency for a sum of a million dollars, or "top-tier" option for five million. A government page promises processing "faster than ever."

"A brief message here to affluent foreigners: prior to you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the program is also intended to "squeeze cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, requiring hefty costs. "That is a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you also get two free nights at a hotel of your choosing – if it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"The most thorough background check the government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these people absolutely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"This is a card that will let affluent overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "For a million bucks, you get official visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"Maybe it's time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel teased the brevity of the form, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Struggles

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging poll numbers during economic anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a another term because they were angry about the economy," he said.

This week, in a effort to tackle affordability, Trump held a press conference in front of a display of grocery items, where he behaved peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting right-leaning media defenses of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he remarked.